Could It Be A WASTE OF TIME YOU Are Seeking?

There were times along the journey where it became so challenging, so incredibly difficult to “see” into my future and create a secure and stable life for myself. I was privy to the opacity of “seeing” a way out. If you want to call it that because a “Way out” often meant the salvation of undertaking an unbearable and uncomplimentary sacrifice far too resemblant to me of an early death. But then at certain periods of my existence, during the ages where nothing seemed to be transgressing for me? An early death did not seem as such an awful result to find me anyway.

The eggs that I consumed over the Corona-virus pandemic were noticeably becoming weaker in nutrient content. It was as if the farmer expected everyone not to notice the imbalances and weaknesses present in the unfertilized ovum due to the fact that everyone else cooked, or prepared their eggs thoroughly and did not enjoy so much as me, the idea of an uncooked or raw component in them. I savored for the richness and quality of the contents, however, I was unable to succeed. Perhaps due to the fact that I was no longer in charge or purchasing groceries.

Whenever I sat down before my computer to write, it was as if a distinct part of me knew what I was doing. Where the information was going, to me, meant directly into the appetite of an escapist’s reasoning for distraction; into the canopy of collusion; into the devastation of a machine that warranted no escape for its populace, ever to grind and squeeze out the delicate and firmly present contents of me until there was nothing left. I knew it was using me to sacrifice the same. Yet I was compliant. I was willing to share, so long as I felt it brought some type of value to the table.

I knew it, the computer, was busy learning — just enough about me to conclude its attempts at uncovering a suitable replacement of an algorithmic expression that matched my existence. But even braille couldn’t stop me from dishing out new delights for the machine to carry. I believed that I was destined for greatness in a certain capacity and while I couldn’t place a finger exactly on what it was yet, I could examine all of the loopholes and I could configure the cement of the operations going on under my nostrils.

Admittedly it was a naivety that consumed the narrowness of my youth and which called out to me most basically as being a, “waste of time!” Certain constructs I had developed within my imagination were far more prepared to be left behind, yet it was almost as though I was not willing to give my entire self up to the machine. Moreover, that if I could retain a particular aspect of myself that was safely residing externally to the source of all of my proposed indictments of culpability with regards to the madness occurring in humanity, then I would be keeping myself protected, sheltered, safe to a certain degree.

New ideas and realizations were cropping up into the delayed stratospheric influxes of my world-view and completely overturning my attempts at shaking up my own level of comfort towards my own existence. I lived at home. With my parents. In a way I was honored. In another way I was frightened, I was maddened, I was completely wrecked by the thoughts of: “Hasn’t this happened before?” “Where did all my friends go?” “Am I the only one left who gets it?”

I proposed to myself that I was the only one strong enough to live on and carry the belief that I and everything else was okay; that living to work and recouping from a nine-to-five paycheck was a, “waste of time.” A flight of human potential. That if an individual were able to conceive of the idea that they possessed unquantifiable and unimaginable levels of power, and that they could not only harness it, but protect it as well as though it were an ever-present furnace igniting and intensifying the experience of existence.

By utilizing these special internal powers, instead of going out in search of a job or career field for work, work would come to find them, or even me! Now it hasn’t worked persay, for me yet, but nevermind, take these words for instance? These words are literally spilling out of my mind as I am typing them out onto a page that doesn’t tangibly exist and I have no idea how they will turn up, end out, procure, etc., but I know that they are going to be published online, or somewhere as another medium of exposure to potentially illicit more strength and encouragement for our human species.

But I do know that if I were at a nine-to-five job right now? These words would not be given the fullest advantage being taken down in my notepad (original thoughts matter) and my task at hand would suffer. You see? it’s where I have been placing the significance and meaning of my life, my short, finite existence, that matters more to me in order to leave behind an important mark on the human species.

In spite of being a pacifist and knowing exactly the fact that the most important moment of all is right NOW (what just happened?) and whatever task lies in front of a person at any given moment is dependent upon their mental constructs and perceived occurrence of the world. It is, never-mind, best to operate with 100% full-effect and concentration on whichever plain of existence is selected (internal/external) by remaining present to it. Same thing goes with relationships: give your 100% effort and there won’t be room for any regrets or past-considerations and lost wonderment, right? No. Give it all to yourself so that the other person has someone strong to lean up against.

At any rate, no I won’t get a job plugging away at things while at the same time being fundamentally distracted and overwhelmed due to having no desire towards an intentional purposeful outcome which I was not responsible for creating. That’s not my wish to be an actor in a fruitless endeavor for ME.

Yes! Obviously there is a means-to-an-end type of resonant-base which escapes the minds of most individuals reading this article. Something like, “Just get a job so you can pay your bills and at least have some freedom to play with while at the same time having the dignity of a basic-tier foundation of responsibility in life…” But oh no, it’s much worse than this. This is all true and ready-made fit for an individual who has no concept or clue of who you are, or even considering the discovery of their fullest potential as a human being (Until later on in life when the idea finally comes to them.). This shit is subterraneous: for me in my world? Money doesn’t exist. Not only is it valueless, debt by possession, and means by which a person can lose their mind over, there is so much truth that isn’t being revealed about it like: that we are all ultimately creditors: money is a charade. Perhaps the ultimate lie. Money is like a thick curtain being pulled over the eyes of every member in society; a remediation for those helpless souls who can’t think for themselves, who have been severed and branded with the idea that they won’t ever be good enough, and prevention for the majority to ever cross over the threshold. And it was me until I stood up for myself with a new identity towards what truly matters in life and I said, “No. Fuck that!” Literally: try and fuck that. This is my life. This is one shot. Money can be apprehended immediately by my imagination if I see fit. And it all goes away in the end anyway, some pretentious, tyrannical buttcrack sold society on the idea that money (where it once admittedly was jewels and gold, etc.) is more valuable than personal exploration of an individual’s soul. See if anyone can go and fuck not ever being or feeling good enough to exist, and tell me what births out from the fake, plastic synthetic organelles of this type of world-view existence. Please? I want to know who your psychologist is. Give me their number. Let’s call them together.

Fact: you either have it, or you don’t. Whichever concept a person decides upon and improves the strength of throughout their life, tell me where money meant they would continue to want to exist? Will their existence be strengthened by something so fictitious as money? Or will money continue to distract them from the truth of their own internal illumination? I admit I have none. But then, my foundation is built based off of having it all. And I have control. I have discipline. I have intelligence and compassion. There are far greater things to be concerned with than fucking around with somebody else’s fallible terms for what constitutes a successful life to them.

I am fortunate in many ways. The immutable, Natural Laws, vibrations, The One creator who restores and heals me, the frictionless, pure substance within the ethers of existence known as love of which I have experienced. These are all entities to consider before wasting the monstrous energetic task of submitting to fear, worry and stress along with feelings of not being good enough, shame, self-doubt and judgment from others just to fit in with the crowd. Money is nothing more than a distraction to me, and so far from the meaning of existence. The many liberties it can provide an individual with in the external, perceptive world? They’re great. Go see it, feel it, live it, be it! But these trips are FINITE, ephemeral and most often non-inclusive.

The internal world, goes on infinitely and it is the place where so long as kept sacred and protected: anything is possible. Part of the issue then is based on a number of things. Obviously the interactions dealing with external-internal worlds for people like me are the confrontations with the idea of “death.” There are people on the outside who enjoy playing the “savior,” and will do anything it takes to rescue another person in peril while having yet to consider their own internal establishments. Moreover, for certain developing individuals who haven’t quite been able to master yet their level of control of the external reality based on their internal world-enhancement say, such as The Law Of Attraction, these individuals take assurance in what they know and understand to be directly before them, and yet they might even claim to know a higher power?

I’m not here to incite controversy on religion, but have you ever noticed a moment when it seems like everyone on the external plain is after something from you? Yes. I would agree: they are. The statement initially sounds uniformly suspect. Well then? Follow up: what if I told you that everyone, including me, is after something so invaluable to you, so incredibly precious and so ultimately everlasting you couldn’t argue with me if I told you the truth of what it is we are all after from you.

You want to know, don’t you? Don’t you? This “cutesy,” back-handed game I am playing with you right now, do you get that? It’s because I want this understanding to sink in to your awareness. I want this piece of information to be in great demand by you. So what is it? It is your attention. Got it? So long as an individual’s attention is focused on the external reality of existence? Then desire and wanting will always exist AWAY from that person. It will always be, “just over the grassy knoll over there!” Maybe a posit of…”Keep going! Over the hill we go now,” “Come along!” “Follow me! I know the way out of here! I was just like you once! I have been here before! Let me help you get out of this mess!” (“…said the monkey safely lifting the fish up into the tree…” — Alan Watts).

But on and on it goes. The answers and solutions to all of life’s problems are endless, and someone appears out in front of you claiming they have the solution to everyone’s problems. But look, there is only ONE YOU. And YOU know something that WE do not. Maybe there is a shame or embarrassment for knowing that ONE thing, but get this? There is only ONE lifetime and NOT a single soul will ever completely, fully understand who you are and whatever it is that you have to offer. This world is waiting for you to share it. It is infinitely blessed with the space and riches and abundance that surrounds your external perception, but in wasting time chasing after money? Or listening to somebody else’s solution? a person will never achieve everything to do during this lifetime and even with all the money in the world. Most importantly? They will never BE YOU.

So? Wherever you are in life. From this point onward? Consider bringing your attention inward. Thanking your body for getting you this far. Thank your mind for being so illustrious and beautiful. Thank your soul for keeping so alert and in tune. And then? Begin to shine. Brightly. Powerfully. Energetic. Inwardly. Imagination and visualization are near one in the same, however, in my opinion, imagination can interfere with erratic and senseless components added to the visualization such as, suddenly a gigantic spacecraft appears and zips you off to an extraterrestrial planet…” Might not be in the best interest of the context — or plot-line of the story that has previously been developed. What I mean to say is that the imagination can often turn into a blip of distraction very quickly and can become rather counter-productive. I am asking for inward attention with a focused mission, or purpose to attend to whether it be being the next King/Queen of the World, or becoming the most self-confident and capable person to ever exist. There is no right or wrong, but it is my recommendation that you do have a direct intent and remain focused. In closing, I would like to thank you for your time and consideration of these ideas. Do your best to enjoy life, remain present, and do the best you can to protect and preserve your attention. Good day.

Cheers,

Dickson Flacc